Responding:

Try to sequence your responses in this order:

It will help people listen to your point (if it is contextualized in relation to theirs)

1. Acknowledge

Acknowledge the person, the information they’re sharing, their point of view, their delivery

Acknowledge/engage with some aspect of what they, some aspect of what they’re telling you

Examples: ”Absolutely..” / “I completely understand…” / “I hear you about XYZ..” / “Interesting… you bring up a good point about X..” /
Whenever possible, try to acknowledge them as a person - ex: their perspective, their effort, their circumstance, etc.

TIP: If you don’t personally connect/empathize with the person’s situation, focus on empathizing w/ their feelings instead

Ex: if they’re feeling overwhelmed, think of a time/situation in your life that you’ve felt overwhelmed — that mental reflection will then allow you to connect/relate to/empathize with the person’s feelings of overwhelm

Illustrate

Illustrate an understanding of their circumstance, or give an example of what they are talking about. (to let them know you understand/hear where they’re coming from).

Ex: “I hear you - there are a ton of moving pieces right now and it’s hard to keep it all straight. By the time you’ve finished one piece, it feels like 5 more have piled up right behind it. It’s exhausting”

Point/Propose (Elevate)

Make your point

Try to express your point/agenda in relation to theirs.

Take the conversation in the direction you want it to go
Don’t table yourself or your point —acknowledging/illustrating does not mean at the expense of your point/agenda. It’s just about building your point in relation to theirs (batting for the same team)
Style points for reframing the whole conversation, instead of just pointing out why their idea is wrong/unimportant

Reminders:

How we respond is directly related to how we listen
Listen for merit & overlap
Listen to learn (not for accuracy or to dispute)
Listen to understand the person (their experience, perspective, emotions) not just the information (whether they make sense)
Listen to understand the other person (put yourself in their shoes)