Scan for positives

Daily Practice:

  • “Brain Training” — Retraining your brain to look for the positives (vs. negatives) in your day to day interactions. To look for and acknowledge what you’re doing well, what you’re proud of, what’s working,etc.

Acknowledging the daily efforts, not the outcome

  • 3:1 Positive to negative ratio – For every negative or critical thought that pops up (about yourself or others), you have to say 3 positives to balance out the one negative
  • Actively look for and make mental notes of things others are doing well, doing effectively/uniquely/creatively. Look for strengths in others, look for what is going well, going smoothly.
    • For example: “I like the way Erin diffused that situation” / I like Tim’s attention to detail” / “John is good at reading the room”, etc.
  • Positive is hard, negatives pop right up, so we need to intentionally look for and seek out the positives
  • Try and do this all day, every day!

Growth mindset:

  • If you start feeling bad about not being “better” / if you start judging yourself for not being perfect…
    • Cool, you’re human (it’s completely normal)
    • Simply acknowledge you’re judging yourself
    • Accept that it’s a default and there’s nothing wrong with it
    • Then redirect to a positive/helpful thought.
  • If getting particularly negative/judgmental of self, go to your little self.
    • Remember that when you’re judging and shaming self, you’re judging your little self
    • picture them and switch to encouraging talk. How would you respond to them if they were judging themselves for the things you are judging yourself for